ᴛʜᴇ ᴡɪɴᴛᴇʀ sᴏʟᴅɪᴇʀ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
freightcars) wrote2019-02-05 09:37 pm
freightcars) wrote2019-02-05 09:37 pm
Duplicity Inbox
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bucky
if i asked you something,
would you give me an honest answer?
[ It's a stupid question. She knows it the moment she types it and yet, for some reason, she still hits send. ]
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If I couldn't, I'd tell you why
So ask
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do you have a favourite flower
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my mother loved them
any color but white
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those are pretty. i have seen them in orange and red before, i thought they looked like a sunset
why not white?
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most things are better, when they are touched by colour
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i panicked
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I'm pretty sure I'm the one person in this place you can say literally anything to and get away with it, no consequences
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i feel like all i've done is cry and interrogate you
but i
i wanted to know
if you've hurt anyone else
since me
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I mean I
In the camp they had those fighting rings, they threw me into that just like they did everyone else, but that's
No. Nothing like that.
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i lost
my
footing was off
without my magic it's healed strangely
but... alright
that's good
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I get it
my arm
healed strangely how?
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it
there's a scar
[ That's it, that's literally it. ]
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I guess you could say that
there's something in me that heals me, or it's supposed to
it disappeared in that place
you never had a scar before?
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except for when it's blocked by something external, i guess
well
i have a few little ones
the bigger ones, you can't see on this plane
[ And here she's internally screaming because immediately she decides she wants to take that detail back, but she's already hit send so- ]
not important what i mean is
i rely on healing magic, and healing magic usually works too fast to allow for scarring this visible
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when I was a soldier, I got taken in as a prisoner of war twice
the first time they were experimenting with stuff in the camp they held me at
they made this serum, this
formula
Whatever you'd call it where you're from
That's where I get the healing, the strength, the stamina.
It's not really magic, it's
Bastard science.
[ Since they're in the business of sharing history tonight apparently.
But about that plane thing...
She's shifting off of it pretty quick, so it sticks in his mind all the more. ]
they make lotion you can put on scar tissue
creams
probably won't ever go away but it makes them fade
[ Not that they ever worked on the patchwork scars around his arm, but even the serum couldn't heal those right. ]
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so it is a part of you?
it is just a part of your composition now... bastard science enhancement
do they?
maybe i will try
i don't know how to feel about it
my mother told me that every scar has a story, even if it's stupid or painful, and that we should not be ashamed of our stories. that they are signs that we have grown, and that we have survived
but, then again
she did not have many scars, herself
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pretty much, in a nutshell
james "bastard science enhancement" barnes.
i think it's okay to want to get rid of some scars
doesn't mean we're ashamed
means we don't want to remember
sometimes how we got the scar isn't a choice, but keeping it might be.
guess you gotta ask yourself
what does it remind you of when you look at it
and how does that memory make you feel
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but they have also made me who i am,
so i wonder, who i would be if i did
when i look at this one
there is pain
cold
dirt, grass, exhaustion, tears, failed magic
metal,
not metal, stars, and
you
i don't know how i feel
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If it were me.
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i will try that
i can wear my high socks until then, i guess
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Smart